um...intimidation...

intimidation: transitive verb
to compel or deter by or as if by threats**

a few posts back i wrote about my need to write more. i'm trying. i really am. i've posted a few things and taken them down because they're too personal and they need more work. not that all i post here are finished perfect pieces--far from it. i've come to discover that this space serves largely for the great dumping ground that is my random thoughts. i love to tell stories--finding them can be a challenge--but when i do find them, it's fun to take them out and polish them up and throw them in this online journal. i used to use the counter tool all the time to see how many of you out there in cyber land were reading along with me, where you're from and what key word got you here (some of those key words, by the way, are just really frightening. psychotherapy by a highly skilled therapist, my friends, is good for those of you searching the internet with combos like "priest" and "happy ending massage."). but i don't check much, if at all any more. i just want to write. i want to find some way to harness the energy and the random sentences that run around in my head. sometimes i write them down. this is my most recent random sentence: last night i dreamed that the london bridge was falling down. i waded in the waters in a vain attempt to hold it up.

so today i'm at story studio, which is where, many moons ago, i took a fiction writing class and met three women who quickly became my good friends. today is an open writing session. for $12 i get quiet, wifi, all the coffee i can drink, twizzlers and promts on the hour to get the writing juices flowing. i came in a little late, so i've not yet heard a prompt, although i'm looking forward to it. although i started a sermon earlier this week, i think i'm going to turn it into a blog post and move in a differerent direction. if you're a regular reader (hi mom, hi papa), it'll be the post on ted haggard.

there are 3 classrooms at story studio in addition to an open space with sofas and the coffee pot and the office set up. i confess i wish i was on the sofa instead of in the classroom, although, realistically speaking, this space is probably more productive. walking in was an exercise in fear. this event started at 9, with a come-by-anytime welcome. i arrived around 1:10 and it's so crowded. i had hoped the back classroom would be a little more empty, and i did find a seat. but walking into a room full of very intense, artistic looking 20 years olds is, well, intimidating. at least i have a mac. out of the 10 computers in this room, all are macs, save 2. so at least i can appear to be a cool, deep artistic type.

the pounding of keys, the clacking sound of word moving from head to finger to computer is both distracting and at the same time comforting. the guy next to me has, hands down, the loudest typing fingers i've ever heard. boom, boom, boom. he just updated his word count on the white board: 1438. rockstar? maybe. that's just a sermon in my world. speaking of...i'd best get to the preaching part of today. wish me luck!

**www.m-w.com