on being like martha

i've been so remiss with this blog of late. i sit down and i WANT to write but i just don't make time for it, or i make the time, only to find myself distracted by so many other things...martha, martha you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing.

yeah, if jesus said that to me today, it think i might just stick my tongue out at him and tell him that if he's so mellow, that HE can go fix the boiler! and then he would. and i'd feel bad. so maybe that's not such a good idea.

i have been so distracted by things of late--things like boilers (at some point i'll post on the boiler going all berserk on CHRISTMAS EVE, when it was below zero outside) and money (i had a come to jesus meeting with myself and finally got honest about my debt this week. it's not pretty, but it's better when taking an honest look, i guess).

there's also just weirdness in the work i do. dealing with people's emotions, their anger and anxiety, the way it gets channeled, the way it is expressed--sometimes it feels like it becomes, in some small way, part of me. by which i mean, that, because i have work and growing up still to do, i take on some of this. and i'm trying to learn what's mine and what's not--what's my responsibility and what's not. and then there's just the whole learning to deal with the human condition and all its complexities. i have miles to go before i sleep.

martha, martha you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing.

in my prayer life, i keep asking what it is i'm supposed to be doing, what it is i'm missing. the response is always the same--read your bible. write. lately, i do neither. so...here's my stab at listening in the new year.